black magic


MAXI CARDIGAN: RETRO-ology | SHIRT: Apt. 9 | PANTS: American Eagle | SHOES: Doc Martens | RINGS: JCPenny & Barberry and Lace | HAT: Apt. 9 (sold out) | NECKLACE: S.E. Needham Jewelers
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I won't be cliche and say "sorry" for not being consistent with my blog posts. Heaven knows, no one really cares when I post anyway. I do feel compelled to tell you that I have been so busy taking 19 credits this semester and that it is my last semester before I student teach. It's not that 19 credits should even be that hard, I have done this before WITH a job. This semester just seems to be taking more of a toll, perhaps because I have senioritis, or maybe because more is just expected of students at my level in classes. Either way, by the time I get home, I am too tired to take pictures of my outfits, too tired to edit pictures, or come up with something scathingly brilliant to say. The perfectionist in me just won't allow me to put forth half-A effort, so instead, I don't put forth any effort at all.
School is crazy. I have 3 hour classes a day, sometimes even two. I read about 250 pages of textbook/articles a week. There are so many presentations that I could scream. Maybe I am just a baby, and if you know me in real life, I am a stress case, but I am done. Sick of not being able to enjoy a book that I choose (no time!), sick of going to practicum (it's like an internship/student teaching before actually student teaching) and doing work that I don't get paid for, and quite frankly, sick of being treated like a child in regards to my education.  At the same time, there is a part of me that is completely fearful. I broke down last week finally (super weird- I am a hard case! Crying just doesn't happen for me, even when I try) in realization that come next semester I will be an actual adult. Sure, I'll be student teaching, but it will be different. No more classes, or trial and error. No more professors teaching me insightful pedagogy. I will have to write lesson plans for a class ALL DAY. That means several lesson plans a day. Currently, that is mind-blowing since one lesson plan can take me about 45 minutes to complete. I am so nervous for my first real career interview. I am scared to try and remember special education laws and how to write an IEP. Sometimes I feel like I know everything, and other times I feel like I have spent the last 4 1/2 years here and still don't know anything. It will be an adventure to say the least.
One more thing, before I go on to the outfit. Please do not ever say that "those who can't, teach." Nothing bothers me more than when people think teaching is a second rate career; that it is easy. I have never felt more challenged, more diverse, or smarter in my entire life. Teaching is grueling, and not for the faint of heart. I just wish everyone could appreciate that.

Now, as for my outfit, I thought I had killed it! That is, until I got home and Spence said I didn't match at all. I had just felt so confident in my "cloak" as Spencer and I have been calling it. It is actually referred to as a maxi cardigan, and they are so. cool. When I put on my Doc Martens, and my turquoise ring, I instantly felt like I should be doing black magic. Just kidding-- I would be a nice witch of course. Look out for these boots all season, because boots, and I mean any and every kind, are my favorite. So comfy, and truly perfect to cover up those pesky ankles (if you are insecure about yours, like I am). Boots just always make me feel bad to the bone.

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4 comments:

  1. Oh, I know those moments all too well. My breakdowns are more to the tune of, "am I on this hamster wheel for life or are the hours/years of schooling going to amount to something finally?!" They are awful and so necessary at the same time. It all pays off! It sounds like you have quite a load. I couldn't agree more with you on your comments about teachers. My stepmom is a teacher and the hardest working woman I know! It's intense, but one of the most rewarding careers! Keep up the hard work sista! xo

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for empathizing with me! You are so cute and kind to say that!

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  2. Cute outfit. Love the sweater, as well as the boots! Keep pushing hard and hang in there. It'll all be worth it...xo!

    ~Whitney
    www.whitneynicjames.com

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