I often get asked why I am limping.Truth is, I sometimes don't even notice anymore. It isn't bothersome when the question is asked, just a subtle reminder that healing is still taking place. There are good days and bad days-- just like any healing process. When it doesn't hurt at all, I often think that it never will again. When the pain returns, I wonder if I will have to live the rest of my life this way.
The injury has kept me from a lot of the things I learned to love over the years. Hiking, climbing, dancing. I dream about being able to do those activities again without the fear of risk or discomfort. Often, I use the injury as a crutch, believing that the real reason I hate running is because it was never a choice.
The first time I really remember the suffering happening was in Kindergarten. It was on the playground and I remember thinking that I had twisted my foot. In elementary school, dance classes made shots of pain run up my legs, but I thought that was normal. Later, in high school, I would come home from cheer practice crying in agony. It was then that I realized that this torture wasn't normal. I begged to go see a doctor. That doctor gave me foot inserts and sent me on my way.
In college, the problem continued. I refused to believe I was a wimp and that foot inserts were the answer. I finally went and saw a foot surgeon. He identified that I had tendonitis (a short achilles tendon resulting in inflammation) that caused me to walk differently on my feet. Over the years, this caused wear and tear, especially between the ball and socket. I had worn away at the cartilage between there on both of my feet resulting in bone spurs and fractures. The doctor recommended a Talonavicular Fusion surgery that would be a long recovery. Although I was scared, I was relieved to have found the answer.
In 2011 I had the first foot surgery on my left foot. Recovery took eighteen months to the day, exactly as I was told. It required a lot of downtown (6 weeks), tons of ice, medication, and pampering by friends and family. At the halfway mark of the recovery, the pain from the surgery had not subsided. I vowed not to get the surgery on the right foot. In 2013, after a complete recovery and no pain from the left surgery, I decided it was time for the next one. I received the surgery, but this time the pain didn't go away. Early this year I went back into the doctor, frustrated with the lack of recovery. We found out that one of the pins was refusing to let the bones heal. Back into surgery I went and we took out the titanium screw- the most expensive thing I now own (kept in a small jar on my shelf). It has now been about 9 months since that surgery, and recovery is still slow. Somedays I can stand on my tippy-toes without a problem. Other days I have to ask my husband to rub my feet. It seems that the healing is happening, even though it is slow.
I tell you all this because Unity Salon in Salt Lake City recently gave me a wonderful pedicure that I would recommend to anyone and everyone! The Unity Salon pedicure was complete with a hot foot bath, nail clean up, callous removal, foot and leg massage (with a delicious coconut lotion), and painting of my nails. It was wonderful to have Christy, Unity Salon's nail technician, pamper my healing feet for 90+ minutes! I can't thank them enough for taking the stress out of my day and off my feet for the day!
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