A Long Personal Post on Positivity

eating breakfast at The Original Pancake House, lauryn hock blogger, lauryncakes


I shared this on Instagram and thought that it would be nice to share here.

IT’S ANOTHER LONG ONE
I’ve stayed off here for a few days because I honestly couldn’t bring forth my passion and drive to create. I felt like the very reason behind what I do was taken from me; it left my identity broken. If you haven’t been aware of the social media storm happening masked as a movement, consider yourself lucky. One MAN has decided to be in charge and tell WOMEN that they should condemn others for what the post publicly, what they wear, say, eat, how they act, even down to what they choose to do to their bodies. There was some truth to it, as the leader of this “movement” shed light to mental health... but it was done in the wrong way. I found myself all consumed with it, and my very being was seized as I forgot why I do this in the first place: to inspire myself to be better and to hopefully inspire those along the way. In order to control my familiar feelings of depression (lack of enjoying in usual activities, emptiness, hopelessness) that were creeping up in my consciousness, I wrote them down. I wanted to take responsibility for spiraling further by feeding the dark beast. I chose to instead take matters into my own hands in a healthy way— by getting some delicious food and expressing myself in a non-hurtful letter. Below (in the first comment) is the letter I wrote. I haven’t sent it to the man who needs to hear it yet, but when I get the courage, I will. I believe in so many of you women that have surrounded me and become my community; I feel safe sharing with you. Please read, and PLEASE reach out to me if you ever need a friend. I’m not going to tell you that I’m qualified in helping you manage the gloomy feelings that we all get sometimes, but I want to support you like you have supported me. After I say this, I hope that I can get back to my regular posting schedule and feel the positivity again. We all need positive passions!

tea party in salt lake city, tea party, tea time


The Letter
I will absolutely use my voice on this platform, but I will never draw attention to you. You hurt so many of my friends deeply. The damage is irreparable because of the poison you filled peoples veins with. Bad deeds have been done by those you enticed to leave negative comments on unassuming accounts and nothing was done to stop it until it was far too late. The apology you gave yesterday seems insincere as it only comes after we (those that you put the blame on) have band together, gathered evidence, and began to voice your wrong approach. You’ll never post this screenshot on your story because it doesn’t fit your narrative of “hundreds and thousands of supporters and maybe only one negative comment a month”. I know for a fact, as I’ve seen screenshots of you not responding to people with counter arguments. I do want you to know that you have shook me, and not in the way that many would hope influencers would be shook. You have been a part of a movement and invited others to make fun of a business and a brand I hold close to my heart. I’ve lost my passion for it all this week, which took away my voice. I viewed my brand as a creative outlet, a way of making art and capturing moments. I now feel depressed about it all. Ironic, isn’t it? Someone promoting a “movement” about mental health awareness, yet you dragged others through the mud to get your point across. You directly hurt my friends when you called them out. You hurt women when they lost hope in this industry supporting women empowerment. You hurt me when you took away my purpose and my passion. Let it be known that I am all for raising the bar, opening up the discussion on mental health, breaking boundaries with communication. The approach I witnessed the past few months, and the past few weeks even more so, was absolutely filled with hatred, vagueness, and scapegoating. What I witnessed was women put down by a man, women pitted against women by a man, women told that what they do with their bodies is wrong by a man, and even worse, that mental health should be the responsibility of others. Blame was shifted. Scapegoats were accused and held accountable. Gaslighting was prevalent as a tactic to prevent the madness of it all from getting out. I’m sick for all of the people that have been manipulated. What this movement needs is a WOMAN that is educated in teaching the proper coping mechanisms for feelings of depression, anxiety, comparison, and inadequacy. If you truly want to help this movement, give the mic to someone else that is qualified.

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11 comments:

  1. It's horrible what he supposedly "stands for" but doesn't actually do anything helpful or good. He's left his mark and his apology can't erase that. This is a beautiful post.

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  2. How wow! I am so sorry this happened to you. I had not idea there was a movement?? There are so many miserable people out there who feel so bad about themselves they try to tear others down. "Don't let anyone dull your sparkle" I know it's from a TV show but man, what a great quote! This person can't bring you down-he doesn't have that power. You're fabulous, so twirl on and forget he's out there. You do you and keep sparkling because anyone who says otherwise must be living a pretty pathetic life.

    XOXO
    Cathy

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  3. Thank you for writing this post! I've been following this whole situation, and just know we support you! and stand with you! Don't let this person drag you down. You're amazing!

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  4. It's a very hard thing when someone interferes with our well-being. Especially when they are not someone who we count in our group of family or peeps. I find that the more I think about something that someone has done that interferes with my well-being, that I become obsessed. I think about it, I am frustrated with things that I am unable to control, and I find myself going into a spin cycle of becoming more and more obsessed and immersed with the situation. I even get to the point where I wish something bad might happen to stop the other person or thing from happening and intruding on my life.
    At those times, I try to remember a quote from a book that I read years ago that helps me become centered again....Don't let others decide how I am going to act. - In other words - I can't react to their actions because then I am doing just exactly what they want me to do.
    Don't let him win by charging ahead. Prove him wrong by doing your work to empower women. In the end... those who intrude in others' lives and hurt others will have their comeuppance (that means getting the punishment or fate that they deserve - or in a quick word....KARMA) Empower yourself by surrounding yourself with those who support and appreciate and love you. They will be a wall to help keep out the naysayers. <3

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  5. OK so I feel totally out of the loop. I can't truly comment on this because I have no idea what/who you're talking about. But I do like the overall message here.

    www.ohtobeamuse.com

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  6. OMG this is insane. I am so out of the loop. I cannot get over this.....just know I am here for you and I am so sorry!! I adore you and everything you bring to this community.

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  7. I think it is really sad that some people need to drag others down to lift themselves up. Social media has been a creative outlet for a lot of us, a place where we can go and see beautiful moments, creative minds, and inspiration. Sad that this happened. You're amazing girl, don't let him bring you down!

    Kileen
    cute & little

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  8. I always try to remember that IG is a highlight reel and nothing more. As someone who opens themselves up to the internet, unfortunately we have to be open to critique & criticism no matter how hurtful it may be. Sucks to have that realization, but it's true. If anything it's given me a tougher skin!

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  9. This is a tough industry to be in. Today's society and media outlets allow for lots of "behind the screen" negativity that is SO hurtful!! So sorry you went through something like this but think you made the right move by taking a few days to gather your thoughts and emotions before responding. Very well written.

    -Morgan
    How 2 Wear It [] http://how2wearit.com

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  10. Wow what a passionate and inspiring post. So well written as well. I loved reading your letter.

    xoxo, Hannah

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  11. I had absolutely no idea there was any type of movement so clearly I do not know what world I am living in! This is such a beautiful post, though. You are so wrong and brave and inspiring to all of us!

    xo,
    Lauren

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I love reading your comments, and I always try to respond to every single one! Thank you for stopping by! xoxo