Have you ever backed yourself into a corner? I have felt a little trapped lately. Trapped by decisions I made six months ago, five years ago, ten years ago.
I even sometimes feel trapped by decisions that weren't actively made by me, but more put on me.
It is really interesting and sort of a juxtaposition to my personality. Ask anyone that is around me for more than ten minutes and they will tell you I am opinionated and unafraid to speak my mind to take charge.
It's the strong-willed, determined, and independent nature of my Sagittarius zodiac sign.
The other side of me doesn't want to cause rifts, strain relationships, have financial hardship, or feel unprepared.
It's that same strong Sag personality playing a part; I can't have things go unplanned.
So here I am, in the in-between. Walking the line of so many things in my life. Wanting to take the leap of faith to reach my dreams, or even to reach the life I imagine. But yet, still here I am, content in the safety of my everyday. I fear what would happen if I let go of the steady paycheck, the ideas that people have of me, of what might happen if what I want to become won't be enough.
I fear the unknown.
Instead, I wait patiently. Day in and day out, filling my schedule to the brim to cover the mundane.
I am not depressed. I am not sick. I am not going through any loss or grief.
I am, however, feeling like a butterfly coming out of her chrysalis.
I once thought I was a moth, but have found so much more color to my wings.
Photography: Hannah Nichols Photography
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