As of late, I can't explain it, but I feel like a teenager again. It isn't just in my '90s style grunge outfit, either. I have so much anger and angst about a lot of situations in my life. I feel like it comes down to a transition period in my life, and many of the events in my existence being out of my control. That is what reminds me so much of my teenage years... the part where I have no say in things.
I asked Spencer the other day, "have you ever felt like you couldn't say or do anything to anyone that can change something about a situation? I just want to scream inside because I know no one cares and there is nothing I can do about it." He replied and said, "that is hopelessness."
I began to understand and remember (as I have a lot lately) what it was like to be a teenager, and even more so for some of my students that have even less control over their situations than I did when I was a youth. Let's be honest and open as well, I am not depressed. I have suffered from depression before. This is not it. I still have hope, laughter, enjoyment, and seek out those things that bring me more of those. This is a general discontent, as I have been calling it to others around me. Perhaps, a slight depression over the situations that have such restrictions, but when I leave those settings, and have about an hour to forget about them, life is good again.
It's funny, because of the nature of this blog, having many viewers, and because of the nature of the environment of my career as a teacher, I can't be completely open about my feelings here without repercussions. I will say that I have lost my ambition as a teacher. Two years in, and I am worn down. If you are ever interested in learning more, I would love to have an in-depth conversation about it with you! Email me, call me, text me. We can talk about how our education system, and how we as humans, are failing the future generations. We are cheapening our society.
And I have no control over that.
But until we have that conversation, I will sit quietly, raging against the machine through my silence, voicing my discontent through pictures of me wearing '90s grunge outfits and screaming at the camera ;)
Hair: H2Blow the Blowdry Bar
SHOP THE LOOK BELOW
Distressed Denim | Slip On Booties | Jean Jacket | Ribbed Turtleneck | Plaid Button-up
CONNECT TO LAURYN AMBER
Linked up with: What I Wore to Work, What I Wore Wednesday, Watch What I'm Wearing, Trend Spin, #WIWT, Thursday Favorite Things, Wednesday Blog Hop, Tell Fashion Linkup, Mix It Mondays, Confident Twosday Linkup, Casual Friday Linkup,